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    11/7/2005

    读张爱玲

         
    耿耿遗篇藏慧剑,
    秋烟冷雨枉缠绵。
    论情亦是阿堵物,
    情到深处心如茧。
    苍凉去国四十年,
    只为红楼添梦魇。
    回看沧海明月下,
    传奇流言走如丸。
     
          从青山乱叠的书堆里又翻出了张爱玲,隔着几年的红尘扰攘看去,不免惊心动魄。陈与义所说“此身虽在堪惊”的心境,原也要凭藉杏花疏影里一缕笛声的唤醒。我却是在张爱玲千回百转、灵辉四溢的叙述中,重温着自己雾重烟轻的淡淡悲喜。一天清晨醒来,枕上偶然凑成几句,野狐禅而已,稍抒郁勃之气。最后一句,感慨之余颇寓赞叹。南朝谢朓云:好诗圆美流转如弹丸。张爱玲的文字境界庶几近之。至于她知人阅世的功夫,当二三十岁时,已慧黠如千年老狐,人性的卑琐幽微,人情的清恬毒媚,都被她一支妙笔摄住了魂魄,淡淡悠悠地写尽。然而写作毕竟是写作。文本的卓异,天资的聪颖,都不能取代肉身的修行,消减尘世的磨难。明慧矜傲如她,竟还是看不破才情面具下的小人根骨,免不了在情天恨海中历劫伤怀。而赤潮席卷、彤云密布的莽莽神州,更令她感到山雨欲来无枝可栖。扁舟浮海,远托异邦,孤光自照,何其苍凉!美利坚收留了她,却并不懂她。她无可救药地孤独终老。最后选择的归宿,把骨灰撒向旷野,度尽劫波之后,还是“渺渺茫茫归彼大荒”。

     

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